I Think I'm Just Really Tired

Im really tired

I couldnt sleep last night

I'm tired of trouble people at work

Like, I like it how it teaches me a lot

and Im pretty much in control of things

all the time

Im always in control all the time

sometimes I just wish that I can let go

just let my guard down

and pass on that control to someone

I want to go home thinking that

someone have had some things

under control for me

I dont even want to think of

a lot of things when I go home

thats why Im a bit bugged

with people asking me about my NYE plan

I mean, we'll definitely meet up that night

just dont ask me what's going to happen

make your plan, and I'll see what I can do

stop relying on me to plan your night

I just wanna go. thats all.

New Year's Resolution

I want to be humble

I want to be nice

I want to be happy

I want to love myself again

I want to care about the people around me

I want to do things that makes me smile

I want to enjoy those little things in life that I took for granted

I want to let go

I want to stop being in control of things in my life

I want to stop thinking that I'm too good for things I might end up enjoy

I want to be able to connect to people

I want to stop stressing out about my job but still take it seriously

I want to open up to people

I want to stop worrying so much about making a mistake

I want to grow up and be more positive

I want to shop more, and save more :)

I want to love myself again and again

I want to learn to cook new things

I want to draw more

I want to eat even when my friends aren't there eating with me.

I want to let go of the past

I want to love myself for what I am

I want to be happy and see the world with smiling heart

I want to take more chances.

Love. mwa.

My Battle (part 2)

I woke up from a nightmare

and I couldn't stop thinking about him

I've always been so insecure about this

Im scared that my friends would chose

my ex's side and left me

Im scared that

I was never good enough for the world

and not good enough for him

not good enough for my friends

I hate thinking that all my friends

like my ex, but my ex's friends didnt care about me

And suddenly I remember that he's a great guy

it wouldn't be hard for him

to get someone to replace me

and then they would start talking about me

and he would say,

'Jarome's superficial, materialistic, and arrogant.'

'he's just one of the retail guys, he works for DJs'

and that's all it took to ruin

my sales supervisor promotion high.

at the end of it I just realised that

it doesn't matter how far I've gone

but Im still nothing for him

I mean, Im happy with all things

that I've achieved this past year

but, I still feel like there's a lot of things out there

that I have to achieve, and I still feel like a nobody.

May be I should start doing something

that matters to the world...

My Battle (part 1)

I've been so tired lately

being a supervisor is definitely draining

my energy, and also I get tired

trying to get used to everything

one night I went home and I just slept

just around 5 in the morning

I dreamt about my ex

in my dream, I was walking in the city

and I saw him in a cafe

he said hi, so I came to him

I realised that he was with my good friend

but my friend totally snub me off

he didnt even talk to me

I realised that he was on my ex's team

my ex then congratulated me for the promo

but I was too upset to find out that

even my good friends chose to be friends

with my ex over me.

I woke up so upset and I couldn't sleep...

Rumour Has It...

Hey Babes...

went to suit's christmas dinner on wednesday

it was good, and I missed them already

the kids have bonded better

and I got a flashy blue martini glass

as part of the kris kringle and I love it!

During the ciggy break I was talking

to one of the guys and he told me

that rumour has it that

I kicked the new girl out of Armani

after just one week.

And you know it's not true

I did say that she didn't look suitable

but I didn't transfer her to local or anything

and then on the way home

she actually gave us a lift to the city

and in the car we were talking

and one of the guys actually said

that he'd quit if I had to be his supervisor

he said, 'you would be kinda scary'

hmmmm I wonder

someone said I didnt look mean enough

to be a supervisor, and then this.

Which one is right?

And I Thought I Could Never Get A Job Last Year

On tuesday afternoon I found out

That I got the promotion

I will start my new role as a sales supervisor

this monday, but today and tomorrow

is the induction period...

Im honestly nervous, excited, and I dunno...

But yeah, who would've thought

I thought I could never get a job last year...

Love you all, and wish me luck :)

Just So You Know Too...

I love my friends

they're my family

and family don't hate each other.

I just want you to know

that I care so so so much about you

and Im just repeating my point

that it kills me to see you doing all this

bad things to yourself, wasting all your time

for something that (I believe) would harm you.

But I mean, you're the person that you are

and you make your own decision

but I just cant agree with you

and Im not gonna lie only to make you feel better

Looking back at all the things that we went through

it's just sad that things happen this way

but I only want you to know

that I'd never hate you

all those things that you read, and you thought

I was talking about you, please just get real

I'd never thought in my life to say that kind

of hatred words to you.

and you should know that.

I read partly what you said about me

Im not angry, but I really wish you

would say that to my face.

I wish you well and stay off drugs...

love you, you're the funniest guy

I know in my life. Dont waste that.

mwa.