Le French

On the night when The Architect kissed someone else.

I met this guy, (strangely they look kind of alike)

He's French, he's a PhD student in literature.

He's kinda funny, I love his accent.

At one point he forgot my name

so I told him to give me a nickname

He called me bugs bunny.

I told him I made yummy tarte tatin.

He said, that came from my hometown, Normandy.

Later that night he told a story of

when he and his partner went traveling together.

But then I get that they broken up.

And then I get that the ex was indeed a girl.

We talked a lot more, and he said

he doesn't believe in sexuality.

He believe everything comes from the heart.

"It's doesn't matter who you are."

Then again I asked him,

"But Im asking if I have any chance

to take you out on an indonesian dinner."

He said, yes, I think I like you.

"But Im not looking for a relationship" he said.

So I reply, "Me neither.

Why can't we just hang out, and talk some more."

He said, "I should get your number."

I kissed him before I go, and thought

there's nothing wrong with 2 broken hearts

trying to talk about how world is, right?

The Architect

I met him about a month ago

He's handsome, tall, and very friendly.

I described him as the senator I've been looking for.

Let's just call him the architect.

We swapped number that night.

I went super mental after that.

But he didn't text me.

So I decided to text him first,

and he replied.

We're supposed to catch up for a drink.

But he then just disappeared.

He completely ignored me.

And no text, no phone call, nothing.

I came to the conclusion that he's just not into me.

Last friday I met him again.

He saw me and he apologized

Of course he made some excuses.

Then he said, let's make a time now.

I said, Im quit busy with work.

I said, up to you, just let me know.

Then he left, and then I saw him kissing another guy.

I thought to myself. What a jerk.

I met another person that night anyway.

So I went home. I slept.

I woke up and thought, I'm back.

I'm back to this game again.

Meeting a guy, feeling something.

It's very... scary, putting your feelings on the line.

But, then again I realized I love this.

At least I have more colour in my life.

It's better than the still/silent comfort

that I've been through.

Part of me feels happy because I feel

like Im finally walking again

with the rest of the world.

And later that day, he asked me out...

6:46am and My Whole Being Hurts

There is something I did, or someone did

or something did to me, but I'm healed.

May be it was just time, time heals.

But I found myself feeling again.