Drunkasian Babes Dot Com

OK me Riri and Kiki are planning to start a group on facebook and we gonna call it drunkasianbabes. Its for asian hotties who like to get drunk and have fun, sorta like girls gone wild. Wait in this case hot asian guys are also included. Not only that but its also for the fans as well hahahah.

Oh what am I talking about? Oh well let me know if you think it's a good idea.

New Casts

Ok hear me out.

Thursday, going out with Vin, Greig, and even Joesh.

Friday, Rafael came over and chat till 1 in the morning.

Saturday, went out to a pirate party, dressed up like a pirate. Met Ed Jason Levana Estelle Jay Emma Chris and Matthew!

Grocery Shopping is a form of Relaxation

Currently:

getting used to working
spending money like a moron again
listening to Al Green's Let's Stay Together,
for the sake of remembering someone
who was DJ-ing and played that song
for me
loving how Kiki and Riri been coming over
to my place every night for the past week
bored of my working suit
been meeting new friends
finally cooked sauerkraut
loving Kimbo coffee and
been having 2 cups each day
loving my new parfume
and um I feel scared of some activists
especially people who would
judge me because I dont know
lots of things about the world
worried about amar and his family cause
they're in Mumbai
aaaah, nothing I just wanna sleep.

Thursday Finally

Yay! So I got paid yesterday, and ummm finally getting my haircut today, and Im going out tonight!

Quotes Of The Month

I've been spending time with Mr and Mrs Oprandi and here are their lines I found so interesting and I dont think I ever heard them from anyone ever in the world.


"When you live in a place for a long time you get so attached to it. I mean, you can live in hell, you get used to it and you find it hard when you have to move to somewhere else."

Anibal Oprandi

"I don't want to go to heaven. Heaven is boring."

Putu Arnany Oprandi

Stronger Than Me

Hmmm I realised that I cant expect people to be as strong as me. Although Im not that strong either. I just dont feel it, but when I finally feel things, I am really misserable. And honestly Im not those people who pretend to be strong, I just dont feel things when things happen. It's like a delayed reaction. But I do sometimes avoid all the sensitive things, like I dont talk about sentimental things, I dont listen to 'our' song, I avoid pity party because I think those things just break down you strong shield. It just tear up your protection, so why do it?

I had a thought before, but may be I have unconsciously thought of it many times before. I think I wont be able to be with anyone for a while. I am really bitter at the moment. I feel fine, but sometimes I worry about myself. I worry about him too. And I think it is not my job to look after him anymore (I always try to remind myself that it was not my fault, and that it just didnt work) but I really cant expect him to be as strong as me. I dont know, but I know I will cry if I pick up the phone and talk to him. It is too soon, too soon. I need to build myself first before I get to help anyone.

I hope know it well enough to look after yourself. I hope you're fine, Bung.

My Perfect Saturday

It's been raining and windy and super cold. I woke up at 11 with a massive hangover from last night. My left bottom part of my chest hurt, I hope it's not emphysima. At first I thought It'd be boring to stay in, but forgot how I missed my room (been sleeping on the couch for a month), so I just stayed in bed, watching dvd. I got hungry, made myself some laksa, ate it, and then went back to my room, under my blanket. Then I made some drawings. I didnt really like them, but I would always remember them as my rainy stormy windy cold perfect saturday drawings :)

I love life, I wanna enjoy things, I wanna have fun. I love me.

Im Runway-ing to Mars!

Currently:

cant wait till wednesday and thursday
coz im getting my pay and haircut
also looking forward to going out
looking fly hahahaha.
I love that song Mars by Fake Blood
I just kept thinking of fierceness when i hear it
hmmm I kinda wanna go to sexpo
just to see how its like
i have problems with insecure people
Like I mean, its normal and Ive been there
but geez its so tiring dealing with their shit
I mean, whats with people calling to
apologize for something he thought he did wrong
the fuck with that get a life
and whats with people making me as their
benchmark, or standard or like an
approval board. Get fucked.
I dont live for people like that
get over yourself seriously
I have a life too you know
I have feelings too you know
and just so I can say this to people
and my friends who had said to me
that Im lucky that Tim had wanted me back
Im not angry but I just thought
why did you think it was any easier?

Whore, Ho, Homo

me currently:

want a haircut
need moisturiser
need new shaving kit
want to buy paintings
getting married with Mat
cant wait to wear-
my new Jack London suit to work
need lotsa money
being so bitter about those people-
who think they know how to save the world
attending too many birthday dinner and drinks
hate the heat
missing air con
want new clothes
want new ties
want new shirt for work
need money to renew my pilates membership
need to lose weight
love my friends
dont want my friends to leave
just nervous about work

Drunken Mondays Videos!

You and The Night, and The Alcohol, and The Music.

I'd seen him a lot of times before. He'd asked me out before but I rejected, I was with my ex. I didnt even know his name.

So last night we met again. His name is Rick. After hours of drunk chat, and alcohol, and cigarettes, I found something really interesting about. I meant it was nothing special, but I found it so liberating to talk to this guy who only work as a bartender, didnt go to uni, but saving his money to travel, and then after that he's going to work again and hopefully earn enough money to go to uni and do a course in Marine Biology.

I somehow started thinking, what's the point of stressing out about getting a good job right now, when you have plenty of time to do it. And while you're doing it you also enjoy life. You live and you learn, you experience things and you're free.

I think he found it funny that my parents still pay for everything but Im acting like a robot. I dont really feel things because I've planned all things I want and need to do in my life. We kinda joke about that. And another shot of tequila. And we made out, another shot of sambuca and we left the place, holding hand, kissing. Make out again behind a container near section 8. And I just wanna stop thinking. I wanna feel things, I know that I dont have to get things in control because I know and he knows that there's nothing to worry about. Another shot of sambuca somewhere else, and then we planned to go to Africa in January.

Fill the Blanks...

Jarome is feeling SAD so he ..........


swipe himself some happyness...

Hope Vs Fear

I've been screwed up in my head this past few days. It all happened on friday night when I decided to finally pick up my ex's phone call. I did, and he was in a bad condition, he wanted to get back together. He said he made a big mistake. He thinks that we can start it all over again. And so I've been thinking what would be the best decision for me. I mean, I didnt want to be selfish, but I had to protect my heart. He dumped me, remember?

It was like a small election, heart vs head. My heart told me that I still love him dearly, I missed him. And even more, it hurt like hell to think that what happened between us would never happen again. I was tortured by all the memories, the times when we laughed together, Laksa King moment, the breakfast at Fitzroy, stupid things that happened, even times when he annoyed me. It all just kinda killed me slowly. My heart told me that things would be easier to just get back together with him.

But the other party, my head told me all the rational things. And I knew that I'd always been a logical person, this was in fact the first time I find it hard to decide between heart and head. I felt like, I could never be in a relationship, thinking that there isnt any certainty. I mean, he broke up with me because he wasn't sure about me. I didnt know how it must feel to be in one while thinking that he could give up on us again anytime. Plus, this break up would be a weak foundation for our second relationship.

So today, while America decided to elect Obama (Go Obama I love YOU!) I decided that I would go for my head. I chose change. I chose hope over fear, so I didnt have to be dealing with constant fear of him giving up on me again. I hope that things are going to get better after I get over him.

Great People, Fugly Relationships

What is it that great people always somehow get into ugly relationships?

I'll give you examples.

1. Miss Editor, great friend of mine. Dated an ugly Indonesian boy. He asked her out, but then he couldnt commit to it. He simply put her after his soccer team, and his friends. At the end he was scared of meeting her? He hid from her? He couldnt even break it like gentlemen. F*cking asshole.

2. Miss Friendly Neighbour. A guy dated her, asked her to be in relationship with him. She said I need sometime, and the next day she found out he just got into a relationship with her bestfriend. Her bestfriend didn't know that he approached Ms Neighbour though. Full on another asshole title for this moron.

3. Miss Smart Bestfriend. My bestfriend for 7 years. A guys asked her out, and she was initially scared of being in a relationship, but she thought she'd give love a chance this time. 3 months later, she started to fall in love with him, only to find him cheating with another girl. Asshole + worst in bed of the century.

4. Miss Sexy Designer. My bestfriend's sister. Hot and successful girl, but stuck in a long 7 years of fugly relationship, and I mean it involves him cheating, and abusing her. Manipulative asshole.

Ah thats all for now. Tell me if you have some stories, or just tell me if Im wrong.

Dream, Race and Reality.

Remember the day when you were naive and young? I remember mine. I've always been a dreamer, and I still am a dreamer. However, things change, you live your life, and somehow the part of you that dreams a lot try to catch up with the reality once you get older.

We dream about our future, our dream job, dream house, and for most people they also dream about their love story. I mean, it is like that moment when you catch yourselves feeling like you're starring in a movie. I had mine. And sometime I still think that it's too movie-ish to be true. But it happened.

It all started in a house party, sometime in August 2005. I met him there, average looking and he was movie production student. And I was a first year uni student who took theatre studies in high school. He offered me to be in his short movie. I thought it was just pick up line. But this whole thing intrigued me, and sort of think that he was very interesting. But then the evil guy came, he was a friend and he told me that my Mr Dream was a promiscuous bastard who slept with everyone. And I trusted evil guy. I didnt end up helping him for his production.

A month later, Mr Dream invited me to his movie screening at Loop. Ah when I think of it Melbourne felt so fresh that time. I mean, may be Im just bored with everything. Anyway, back to the story I had that getting to know moment with him, and he invited me to come to him place. Not for sex of course, just hang out. But I said no, I was too scared to get to know him because what evil guy told me. Honestly I was interested, very interested, but I thought I needed to protect my heart. So instead during out chat, I told him a big lie. I told him the type of person I like, and I told him someone so different from him. I said, I like guys who looked like guys from Jet.

So nothing happened. And a few month later, we met again. We hang out, and at one point we grab my hand, and held it firmly while walking along Brunswick street. It was that movie moment when the guy hold the girl's/boy's hand, and it was firm, full of confidence. It was almost like saying "it's okey, you're with me now. Everything's fine because we're here together."

However, evil guy was there. And he ruined everything again. At one point when Mr Dream was ordering drinks, evil guy went to him and asked him out for a coffee. And I found out, I overheard what happened. The problem is, I was so naive that time, and again I was scared if Mr Dream was a bastard in disguise. I decided not to continue our little "Brunswick Street Walk" story that night. I went home confused, I didnt know what happened.

Next day, evil guy called me. He said Mr Dream didnt go for a coffee with him. But I was still scared of him. So I didnt call him, I ignored what could've been a nice little story between me and my Mr Dream.

A few months later I met a friend of evil guy, he told me the truth. That evil guy was obsessed about Mr Dream. And that Mr Dream is not a promiscuous bastard. He was a good guy, and in fact, he liked me. I felt horrible knowing the truth. I couldnt believe I led my fear ruin a chance to be with my first biggest crush ever.

So, I tried to catch up with him. And that night, I found out he already dated someone else. I was too late. A week later, after realising that it was over between us and that I should just not see him for a while, I was invited to a friend's birthday. Somewhere in Melbourne, a bar that I'd never been to. And then another movie moment happened. I somehow met him there, with his boy. And that was it, I decided to move on, and stop thinking about what could've happened between us.

Months later, I met him again in a friend's party, and he was single. The only problem was, he was moving to Queensland. He got his dream job, and I was so proud of him. During the time he was in Queensland, I met him once by a chance in Melbourne. Very random. It was so bizarre It was too much, I even got to the point at least for 4 times that I dreamt about him and I would see him sometime soon after.

It got even more random, I met him in Kuala Lumpur. Out of nowhere he was there, and we were in the same plane. He told me he was moving back to Melbourne. So I was waiting for him in Melbourne. He moved back, but somehow I thought Im through with hoping that we could start everything from the beginning. And one night, I met another Great guy. Great guy and I dated, only for 2 weeks before I went back to Indonesia for 2 months.

It was in the afternoon, a few hours away from my flight. I was walking home, and I met Mr Dream again. We ended up having dinner, and caught up. It freaked me out that sometimes he understood me better than anyone. But I was dating Mr Dream. So I decided to move on.

I ended up being in a great relationship with Mr Great. And he was the first guy to guide me, to teach me not to be afraid of being with someone. But things happened. And we broke up 8 months later. Just a few days later, I randomly bumped into Mr Dream again. It was cool, I think of him as a friend, may be because I just broke up with Mr Great, and I still loved him. Another movie moment, Mr Dream was moving to UK. He got his dream job again.

I kept thinking that it was such a cute, sweet little story. How we always meet each other, and yet somethings always keeps us for being together. But I realised it is all just a dream. Reality is nothing like that. Reality is, Im still hurt from the break up with Mr Great. And My head is racing to the reality point. I have leave my sweet dream, and catch up the reality.

So that day, I went to Mr Dream's farewell picnic. I looked at him, may be for the last time, I looked at my dream that may be one day we would finally be together. But I realised it was all just dream. It was sweet but It wasnt real. I said goodbye, and that was the reality. That it was nothing. It doesnt matter to me anymore. I woke up, I saw the reality, and Im in such a mess. But I am going to face it.