Hmmm I realised that I cant expect people to be as strong as me. Although Im not that strong either. I just dont feel it, but when I finally feel things, I am really misserable. And honestly Im not those people who pretend to be strong, I just dont feel things when things happen. It's like a delayed reaction. But I do sometimes avoid all the sensitive things, like I dont talk about sentimental things, I dont listen to 'our' song, I avoid pity party because I think those things just break down you strong shield. It just tear up your protection, so why do it?
I had a thought before, but may be I have unconsciously thought of it many times before. I think I wont be able to be with anyone for a while. I am really bitter at the moment. I feel fine, but sometimes I worry about myself. I worry about him too. And I think it is not my job to look after him anymore (I always try to remind myself that it was not my fault, and that it just didnt work) but I really cant expect him to be as strong as me. I dont know, but I know I will cry if I pick up the phone and talk to him. It is too soon, too soon. I need to build myself first before I get to help anyone.
I hope know it well enough to look after yourself. I hope you're fine, Bung.
I had a thought before, but may be I have unconsciously thought of it many times before. I think I wont be able to be with anyone for a while. I am really bitter at the moment. I feel fine, but sometimes I worry about myself. I worry about him too. And I think it is not my job to look after him anymore (I always try to remind myself that it was not my fault, and that it just didnt work) but I really cant expect him to be as strong as me. I dont know, but I know I will cry if I pick up the phone and talk to him. It is too soon, too soon. I need to build myself first before I get to help anyone.
I hope know it well enough to look after yourself. I hope you're fine, Bung.
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