The Final Step

I had my usual day off treat today

French crepes, a bit of red, and...

the definitely the sweetest French eye candy :)

we got to talk about me and my ex'es little rendezvous

I told them how I feel

and I had the best answer from Patrick

he was telling me the story about him and his ex

they tried to be friends but it was too awkward

they didnt end up being friends

in other words, it was just fully over

no friends, nothing. Just a history.

Then he asked me, "do you wanna be friends with him?"

Yeah, but honestly, not like we're friends

the truth is, there are friendship that happened

because the people in it click with each other

and so it's natural for them to be friends because

they enjoy each other's company

and then there are friendship that develop from

a "getting used to each other" or even history.

and I realised that if me and my ex are going to be friends

it would never going to be the natural friendship

it would be friendship that based on a history

it would never be hanging out with a friend

it would be "catching up with my ex"

That would be awkward.

Patrick continued, in his case he just quit it

there isn't any point for them to be friends

it's just done and it is the past.

My heart slightly pained when I heard that

"it's just over, it's in the past."

and yeah, of course there is nothing wrong with

having a regular "catching up with ex"

but what if these recurring rendezvous becomes

the new post-relationship relationship

I for sure dont want to keep having feelings for him

everytime we catch up, and this elongates

the break up process, it becomes the constant reminder

that we have a history, and for that Im scared that

I would never end up getting over him for real.

I realized that it is like you deciding to quit reading a book

and you keep the book open on a table next to you

you can't help but keep looking through it now and then.

What you should do is close the book.

And so my friends

I think that it should be the final step

to my break up.

Close the book. Make it a history.

Accept the fact that it is over completely.

And he should just be a guy I bump into

on the street, who happened to be my ex.

I think that cutting it short would

make it easier in the long term.

Like Im over it, but I think that as long as

I still have emotion to him, it means that

Im not completely over him.

I hope this final step would

help me get over it, completely.