2.39 am

Hmmm nothing much. Went home from work and had dinner and watch tv for a bit. And then I nap for about 2 hours so I cant sleep right now. Good thing that Im working at 12 tomorrow. I have been working a lot lately. And its great. Im loving it, this is what I wanted. A routine. I work, go home, dinner, chill, sleep, and work again and so on. And I still get to have fun in weekend or whenever I can. Did I tell you David Jones loves me and they offered me a part time position? I feel so proud of it. Yes I know, its only a retail job, and I think I deserve better than that. But come on, it's David Jones and I only started working for them in November. You know, it's another prove that hard worl pays. I hate the work politics though. But I think Im doing it well :P

I havent been going out, so it's good. Only planning to go for Amar's birthday this saturday, and I will not be going out. Im only going to the dinner. I feel fine so far. No boys at the moment but it's good. You know I cant be with any of them at the moment anyway.

Hey, Im starting to kinda realise that I unconsciously never really believe or at least I never really think of keeping a long term relationship. I dream of it, but I just dont think that I actually have the gut to keep it as a long term. You know, growing up as a muslim in Asia, with a lot of responsibility for my family, it's just somehow not my priority. Like what I mean is, I want it but somehow lately I've been realising that compared to many of my friends, I dont think as much about actually having it or trying to get it when I think of my future. Somehow it's just not one of those priority to me. When I think of the future, I picture happyness from career and success, and keeping my Mom and my sister happy.

It's getting late and Im talking more non-sense. Ive been spending my money better lately. Especially since I moved to Jonny's apartment and work regularly. I cute down my smoking to only 2 packs a week (from a pack a day). But it doesnt mean that I put some money on my saving. See this is how it works for me. I spend half of my salary on shopping and also as always good money and good wine, and then the rest I somehow try to manage living on the rest of my money. I started to realised that shopping and those dine out makes me happy. Im still however sometimes think of how much money I had before, how much my Mom would send me. I was rich. Im just scared that Im gonna end up being that kinda person whose happyness only depends on how much he earn and how much he can spend.

Have a listen to Hey Little Rich Girl by The Specials.