I've been thinking, why do we need to wait for new year's eve to make a resolution? I thought may be I should do it right now, considering things are changing a lot in my life lately anyway. I usually started my resolution with some diet or healthy lifestyle thing. But I think this time I know what would be first on my list.
1. Be smart. Use you head. Be strong again.
I feel like I have made a big mistake by falling for someone, letting someone into my life. I wasn't like that. I used to be a thinker and I liked the way I was before. The thing is, this break up is so hard for me. I dont think I wanna go through the same thing again. At least not for a while. I want to be strong again, I wanna be how I used to be. And plus, I've seen my sister getting so stupid after falling for a fucking loser. I've seen my friends acting irrationally for their boys or girls, I dont want to be like that. I kept thinking why did I let myself go through this. It was a big mistake. I shouldnt've let myself into thinking that I was something you feel certain in your life when the truth is you don't even know what you want. You don't know if you want to be with me. Look at me now, what am I doing? I get drunk a lot, I dont talk to my friends as much as I used to be, I can't even be there for my friends. And that's not me. I don't want to be like this. I can't believe I let you ruin me and my contentment. I question myself a lot, and that never happened before. I just want to be the logical me again, and Im gonna build myself up again. And I hope that will happen soon.
2 comments:
It's a good resolution, Jarome.
But you know what, dude, you should totally let yourself get fucked up/drunk/go nuts/high/whatever. You can't be too harsh on yourself. Or else you're not dealing.
Actually don't get high. Just talk a lot with your fabulous friends, like me.
Love you long tiiiiiiime.
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