Reality Check

I came back to Indonesia for a week last, like a week ago. My plan was actually just to see my family, and kinda hoping that I could cry that one year of tears that Ive been holding inside. But I forgot that going home isnt exactly like that. I forgot it was more like a place to pretend that everything in Melbourne is fine. My mom is too weak to know anything that Ive been going through here. I mean, I understand that she has too many things to handle herself. And my sister, she's too caught up in her own family drama that she created.

It was really annoying how everyone seems to think that my only problem in Melbourne is my recent weight loss. People were saying, "you're so thin." and "you're too thin, make sure you eat more." And they came with one conclusion, "that Im too busy working so I stop eating properly." Like in my head I thought, it would be good if it was only that simple. I simply cant believe noone attempted to ask me why I've lost weight.

Like, going home is like a reality check. I didn't have the chance to let go and feel. It was more like finding out that there are more problems happening there. I just had to deal with these problems. I came back to Melbourne and I was very broken. But then I realise, it is not a problem, it's a condition and there is nothing to do. Just deal with it.