The Text Message I Never Get To Read

About a week ago, work was super intense and I was working overtime,
and one morning I had 2 text messages in my phone.

I looked at it, and one of them is from the Architect.

It said on the preview, just one line that I could read;

"Hey... I felt awkward about --"

and so I tried to click on it and read the whole thing,

for some reason, my phone didn't save it.

Gone, and gone, and I didn't get to read it.

I texted him back, and then can't wait so I called him.

He didn't admit that he sent anything...

And he said, let's catch up.

So we tried but I had to cancel on him because of work.

And he never replied and got back to me.

The architect and the message I never got to read.

Us and the stupid things around us.

Never meant to work out, I'd say.

Things would've been easier if it's meant to be, isn't it?

This Doesn't Make Sense

I'm feeling like I might be missing you right now.

You know, I went out for dinner with another guy,

and I suddenly missed you.

Probably cause he was shit and I was happy that

I had you, at least had a chance with someone like you

and may be I didn't realize that you are better than most people

I don't know, I'm having sauerkraut for dinner and I remember

German food that we're supposed to have together (if we ever hanged out again)

I don't think I want to be with you

but I'm romanticizing us again, and you and you and you again.

I want to see you again.

This doesn't make sense, I know I won't like you

when I finally see you again. You're just that funny kind.

This doesn't make sense.

But what does, nothing about us makes any sense.

But nothing has to make sense, because you are you

and I miss you. Even when it makes no sense, at all.

Still Feeling So Unforgiving (Hater)

I have those days where I feel so restless,

and every single thing that doesn't go right

slaps me on my face and made me feel so angry.

Like I'm just a bitter person.

I hate the whole world, sometimes.

At the moment I hate everyone in the world.

Examples...

The friend who's so bitter and self consumed

and has made me the biggest villain in the world.

The friend who never called me again since

he got himself a short ugly boyfriend.

The Singaporean friends who can't eat for shit,

The friends who try so hard to look like

a high fashion models, but still look so shit.

The friend who always try to poach all the guys

I'd been associated with.

The friends who always go for every single guy

on earth, and not admitting it.

The friend who asked me out only so that he

doesn't have to be alone when he's hunting for guys.

The ex boyfriend who fucked up my life.

The ex best friend who is a dumb ass.

I hate you, and how could you make waste a second

in my life to deal with your fucking rubbish.

You just ruined me. Thank you very much.

Never mind, I'm still standing.

I'll be alright, just wait and see.

Patience is a Virtue

Currently, I'm feeling like I haven't had anything

eventful in my life. Like, nothing is a real deal.

Things are just dull.

Did you ever feel like you should be doing something

bigger than what you are currently doing?

And also you feel like if it's not gonna happen now

it might never happen?

I feel like I'm being chased to make a big move

or some kind of life changing decision.

And I don't know what.

But think again, we're only young once.

And I constantly feel scared that I'm letting my youth

passes by, and wasting it.

I'm afraid I'm not having enough fun,

not dating enough boys, not experiencing enough things.

Coz we're only young once.

Worry

I'm slowly realising that things that matter to you today

might no longer matter tomorrow. And I do hope that all this worry

would be gone when I wake up tomorrow...