The Sudden Realization and The Coming Back

I've hesitated to write anything in the past few months,

like, I think I was just not ready to admit something that happened

And the fact that some people somewhere in the world might

be reading my post just made it 5 million times harder.

The fact is, i've been writing this as my online diary,

and my online diary is not that kinda of the private one

and yet at the end it is still a diary.

Did you ever go through something,

something not so pleasant that you don't even want

to talk about it and at the same time you

don't really wanna have that written somewhere

because it kinda suck trying just thinking and

remembering it?

Well that was the real thing that happened.

I spent the last two days alone, all for myself

just thinking and wondering of things we don't normally

think about in any other normal days.

And then came the sudden realization.

I think I was too embarrassed to even just say it.

"I feel for that feeling again, to someone again,

and sadly it didn't work the way I wanted."

But there, I said it. And as I said to myself

so many times before, I shouldn't be embarrassed.

It's just normal, it's just normal to feel shit about it

It's just normal to feel again, I'm just like

many other people in the world.

And now, there, I said it, wrote, and

it won't be the last time.